White House Text Leak Explains Jeff Sessions and Affirmative Action

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The Following is a leaked text thread between two unidentified White House Officials.

Lil Handy: We need to get Sessions out of here

BCarsDaily: Is it because of the Russian thing?

Lil Handy: No it’s because he looks like a possum and he’s annoying as fuck

BCarsDaily: I know right? He keeps talking about how great Alabama is

Lil Handy: If it’s so fucking great why doesn’t any one ever go there?

BCarsDaily: All of his stories are about Nick Saban, and how he met Nick Saban once, I feel bad because I don’t know who that is

Lil Handy: He’s the guy that created Power Rangers

BCarsDaily: djaienacoheafoad

Lil Handy: ?

BCarsDaily: Oh sorry I’m in a surgery and I dropped my phone. Just a sec

Lil Handy: Have you ever eaten a meal with the guy? He takes for fucking ever to finish.

BCarsDaily: K driving now, I try not to have too many conversations with him.

Lil Handy: Because he smells like death?

BCarsDaily: No he keeps cornering me and asking me a bunch of questions about affirmative action

Lil Handy: What kind of questions

BCarsDaily: He usually asks me if I think it’s fair and then he rambles about times when a better candidate didn’t get the job because of affirmative action.

Lil Handy: Why?

BCarsDaily: He’s from Alabama

Lil Handy: What if I let him go after affirmative action?

BCarsDaily: Then people would hate him

Lil Handy: Yeah I know, I was asking if that would be okay.

BCarsDaily: You’re the man in charge

Lil Handy: I meant would that be okay. . .with you?

BCarsDaily: Are you asking all of the cabinet members this?

Lil Handy: No, why would I?

 

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